I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Let's get the cat blown out
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
