But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
