no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
