i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
