I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
