her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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