He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
