why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
