is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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