Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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