hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
