he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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