you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
