i already hear my dad disowning me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
