Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
