I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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