thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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