I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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