She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
