She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
