I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize