Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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