i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
