I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
