just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
