He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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