Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
