Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can't turn off my feet"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
