i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
