you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
