Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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