so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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