even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
