I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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