i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
