theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
