So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The air was thick with penises
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
