Define "chronic" masturbator.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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