drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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