we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
