Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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