I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
