I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
