Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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