; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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