We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
