You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
