So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
