There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
