It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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