I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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